Do Not Be Afraid to Feel Your Feelings

WTYL Episode 39 Welcome To Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast

The world is in chaos it is scary and a bit overwhelming. Before we get started, let us take a collective moment to breathe.  Maybe like me, you have been holding your breath as every one of your body’s senses has been bombarded by emotions too quick to process.

So, I invite you, no, I implore you, find a comfortable seat, relax your shoulders, and plant your feet firmly on the floor. Close your eyes.  Place your left hand on your belly, and your right hand on your heart.  Take a deep breath through your nose, feeling the rise and fall of your belly and chest.  Do this three times.  Now, sit for a moment and just feel the awareness of stillness.

Even when you were not physically moving over the last 12 weeks, your mind has been in constant motion.  I would bet you a butter pecan iced coffee that you are emotionally, financially, and spiritually exhausted. 

Having been hit simultaneously with a global pandemic which has killed over 120,000 people in the United States alone, left 40 million Americans unemployed, plural police shootings which have sparked nationwide protests. Fueled by 400 years of systemic racism, brutal injustice, and downright disrespect of the human rights of black and brown folks in this country.

As women of a certain age, we have become very adept at hiding our feelings; after all, it would be selfish of us to spend time dealing with our own emotions, when we need to be the glue that holds our world together.  So, we pack them away in a little box with the promise that we will unpack them later.  Well, my friend later is now.

Some of us were never taught the importance of examining how we feel, that was a luxury for the rich and famous.  I mean really, “was this not an issue of class in that the higher socioeconomic classes could spend their time contemplating their sadness while the rest of us regular folks had to get to work? How possible was it, really, for the average person, to be with or in their sadness, “sitting still” when things needed to get done? After all, didn’t we all need to get out the door and earn a living?”   Our parents showed us they loved us by providing for us, as a single mom my mother rarely had time to ask us how we felt or really examine how she was feeling, she was too busy trying to put food on the table.  Unfortunately, the cycle continued with me. 

Feeling your feelings is not an easy task, believe me, I know.  I am the queen of holding things in and telling myself that I will deal with it some other time.  When things are not as hectic, when my life is in order, or when I have more time.   I placated myself bingeing on Netflix, alcohol, food, and shopping.  Until being unemployed meant that I had to let go of these vices and deal with my feelings.

When you are focused on numbing your feelings rather than processing them and using healthy coping strategies, you prevent yourself from living a full and meaningful life. Hurt, frustration, pain, sadness, and anger are all-natural and healthy parts of the human experience. When we try to suppress these emotions, we are unable to thrive.”

At the end of a recent yoga class, one of my students exhaling loudly said, “I do not believe that I have taken a real breath all day.”  Your feelings help you decide whether you are in alignment with your wants and needs.  The scary part about taking that deep breathe feeling your emotions and identifying how they show up in your body is that you must submit to being vulnerable.  

Being vulnerable can provide us with the key we need to live a full life. If we’re brave, it will allow us to finally let our guard down and open ourselves up to the sadness, disbelief, and frustration we may be holding on too, which means “more energy and attention we have to devote to our functioning life.”  

Does holding your feelings in lead to emotional eating, shutting yourself off from family or friends, sadness, headaches, gut issues, overspending, or yelling at co-workers?

Your assignment this week is to sit in a quiet place, use the breathing exercise we did at the beginning to anchor your mind.  This process will be as long or as short as you would like it to be, it must be done. At the end of your day, take out a blank piece of paper, set the timer for ten minutes, and just write how you are feeling. My free writing led to me address some things that I had pushed down but that needed to be addressed immediately, such as the daily emotional eating I had been doing to ease my frustrations.  Once you complete the activity, shoot me an email at and let me know how this exercise worked or did not work for you.

You can conquer anything if you acknowledge its existence.  The more we try to hide our feelings or put off dealing with them until some arbitrary future date, the more we will use unhealthy coping skills to bottle up our emotions.  It is time to feel again.

With Peace and Love,


My gift to you, Beating the Midlife Slump! 10 Strategies to Help You Boost Your Self Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

Whenever you are ready, here are two ways I can help you create the future you’ve always wanted:

  1. Join the private Welcome to Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife. Learn from and connect with other midlife women; this is your village, a safe place to vent your concerns and celebrate your wins.  Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).


  1. Work with me privately. I am looking for 10 women over 50 who are looking, to lose weight naturally, reduce their stress, and increase their joy. If this is you, please fill out the form below. All eligible applications will be contacted by phone or email.  Click here to apply! Your first call is free!

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How to Create the New Life You Have Always Wanted

I get it, this was going to be your year.  2020 was the year you were going to lose weight, get a new job, disconnect from distracting or destructive relationships.  Find your soul mate, really take hold of your self-care, and make it a regular thing. Maybe, you were well on your way to making this happen, and then the world fell apart, and you with it.  I am here to tell you and myself that it is not too late to make your new life happen.  You can still make significant changes to your mind, body, and spirit. Guess what! I have a plan to help us do it.

This plan is going to require us to take some baby steps every day because real change does not happen in a day; it occurs when we make small shifts towards what we want.  Make sure that you hit the follow button so that you do not miss a post because, over the next couple of weeks, I am going to share with you 30 easy to implement life-changing tools and tips that will help you to transform your life.  Real self-care is more than just getting a manicure or a massage. It is the culmination of everything you do for yourself physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and financially. 

Some of these tips may sound unnecessary, but hey do them anyway, remember it is the culmination of our efforts that creates real change.

So, let us start. Today, I want you to take out that massive goal list that you prepared at the beginning of the year, focus on one area, and create three smaller goals that will help you to complete the task.  For example, if you want to work out every day instead of focusing on an hour’s workout, try 20 minutes. “Every time you set and achieve a goal, your confidence and sense of competence increases.”  If you have been struggling to get your two-hour writing session done, then opt for 15 minutes a day, in a week you will have written 105 minutes that’s a blog, book chapter, short story, or podcast episode. 

Setting smaller goals will reduce overwhelm and keep your life balanced. So, what do you say what area of your life will you focus on with your three tiny goals? I would love to hear about your success.

With Peace and Love,


Are tired of banging your head against the wall and you need help to figure out your next steps.  Schedule your Soul Transformational call with me, it is completely free, and during our time together we will figure out what barriers are keeping you from the life you want. 

Self-Care is Your Superpower

Self-care and self-love are so intertwined that, to me, they are the same. It’s hard to love yourself when you are not taking care of yourself.  I know that we must take care of others, but real self-care is a conscious desire to take care of our own physical and emotional needs.  We are about to start a new month.  This would be an excellent time for you to set your intention and start or restart your self-care plan.  Self-care is your superpower; without it, we are only half showing up for the people and things we love.

Your self-care can show up in many ways, journaling, meditation, exercising regularly, scheduling your medical appointments. The point is to ensure that your physical and mental well-being is at the top of your crowded “to do” list. When you do this, you can genuinely help others with an open heart. Otherwise, resentment will rise, and you will feel guilty for the genuine feelings emanating from your spirit. Because, self-care is your superpower!

So, take some time today and make a list of all the things you need to feel happy and whole. To have peace and live courageously and connected to the spaces you inhabit. You deserve it-give yourself permission to have it.

We start May 10th are you in!   Let me help you lose your next 10 pounds join the 5k Walking and Clean Eating program get healthy, lose weight, and increase your energy.  Everyone who signs up has the chance to earn a medal during our 5K virtual  walk/run,  and you can bring a friend for free that’s right your registration comes with a free guest pass.

 $5 of your registration will be donated to the Atlanta Mission to help them provide safe housing and meals for homeless mothers and their children:  SIGN UP YOU’RE YOUR MEDAL IS WAITING:        

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Is Your Cell Phone Disturbing Your Sleep?

We cannot live without them, right?  I am talking about your cell phone.  Some of us have even taken to sleeping with our phones.  I am guilty of that, but that could be the worst thing you could do if you want to get a good restful night’s sleep.  Not only does the urge to keep rechecking your social media accounts interrupt your sleep patterns.

😴📱Scientists are just beginning to dig into all the effects cell phone use has on our health … including obesity, heart disease, brain changes, depression, and more. But one thing they do know is that the blue light that comes from screens can severely impact the quality and quantity of our sleep!  If you still have children at home, now is the time to get them in the habit of putting their phones away before going to bed.  If the urge is too high to see who liked, shared, or commented on your last post, I am raising my hand, then recharging them in another room is a great way to break the habit.

If you want to get a great night’s sleep.  And who doesn’t, 😳📵😴try to put your phone (and tablets and TVs!) away for at least an hour before you go to bed, so your brain gets a break from the blue light, which can make you want to stay awake!

With Peace and Love,


Let’s connect on the gram

Has your life stalled?  Download the Ultimate Midlife Guide: 

Beating The Midlife Slump-10 Strategies To Help You Boost Self-Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

The latest episode of Welcome To Your Life Midlife Made Easier Podcast: This podcast is for midlife women who are juggling midlife, wellness, relationship, and work/life balance.  Get the latest tips, tools, and interviews from midlife women just like you.

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What Is The Best Picture You’ve Taken All Week?

The world has gotten so gloomy. It’s important that we make a concerted effort to remember the good things. Because, while we are in the midst of death and dying, life is still going on. 📷🌆👶🏻What’s the best picture you’ve taken this week? Share it in the comments!

No Need For Masks Or Social Distancing!

I took this photo on one of my morning walks. It was cold! But, it was good to get outside away from the news coverage and smell the fresh air and see that nature is still thriving.

With Peace and Love,


Let’s Connect ON the Gram

Has your life stalled?  Download the Ultimate Midlife Guide: 

Beating The Midlife Slump-10 Strategies To Help You Boost Self-Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

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The Anniversary of Loss: Three Ways to Get Through the Day

    If you have made it to midlife, you know what it means to lose someone you love.  April 17th would have been my younger brother’s 59th birthday.  Every year, on that day, I am reminded that there is a very noticeable gap between my youngest brother and myself.  David died from the same disease that took our dad, heart disease.  Of course, he was not the first death I’d experienced.  I have buried both of my parents, two grandmothers, and a beloved aunt.  But this is different. David and I were born 11 months apart.  I told people we were twins because between April and June, our respective birth months, we were the same age. 

     David was the balance between my youngest brother and me, he was calm, funny, a gifted artist who loved comic books, sci-fi, and he was the first tech nerd I ever knew.  As the pandemic rages around us, my heart goes out to the families who will celebrate their own anniversaries of loss next year.   Let me share with you three ways that I have found to get through the day.

  1. Cry:  This is not the day to stay in control of your emotions; if you feel like crying, let the waterworks go.  If possible, don’t spend the whole day crying that can be so draining.   Deal with your emotions unapologetically.
  2. Do something in remembrance:  My brother and I shared a love of all things sci-fi.  This year I watched the new Picard series in his honor.  You will never forget the person you lost, you can “empower yourself by proactively anticipating the anniversary and incorporating his or her memory into your plans.”
  3. Connect with others, the first couple of years after David passed away, I admit I shut myself off, worked long hours, or busied myself with my kids.  This year, I shared with them how I was feeling, told stories about when we were growing up, and how I would fight anyone who tried to bully him. Sharing with them helped me to remember David and gave them some insight on our childhood, a topic they tell me I don’t share enough.  My daughter-in-law dropped off a nice bottle of wine, and chocolates her kindness gave me a new memory to add to this anniversary.  On your anniversary, connect with others, share stories and memories.  Start a new tradition to honor your loved one and celebrate their contribution to you and to the world.

     Grief is one of those emotions that never really goes away, a smell, a song, a photo can bring back all the raw feelings of loss.  Take the time to care for yourself and tap into your inner strength.  Take a long walk, write your thoughts in a journal, take a yoga class, or talk to a therapist or coach, don’t suffer in silence.  That is the one thing I am sure your loved one would not want you to do. 

With Love and Peace,


Has your life stalled?  Download the Ultimate Midlife Guide: 

Beating The Midlife Slump-10 Strategies To Help You Boost Self-Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

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What Could I Do If I Wasn’t Afraid?

“Love Yourself, Dream Bigger” Teresa Collins

     I am not going to lie to you, midlife can be a scary phase of life.  Questions arise like, who is going to take care of me when I cannot take care of myself.  What if I don’t have enough money to live comfortably? I want to change careers but everyone I talk too tell me I am too old.  And, if these questions, are not enough to handle, what do we tell ourselves when we look at the dreams, we’ve left undone because we were just too afraid to take the first step.   

     If we have learned nothing else from the pandemic it is that we cannot afford to wait until tomorrow to live.  Live Now! Walk the marathon, write the book, start the business, cut people out of your life that no longer support you, acknowledge your mental health issues and get some help. Learn to motivate yourself and follow your own intuition, you got this!

With Peace and Love,


Have your weight loss goals stalled?  Download The Ultimate Midlife Guide:  Beating The Midlife Slump-10 Strategies To Help You Boost Self-Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

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Midlifers Tell the Truth: Are You Lonely?

Illustrated by Brianna Gilmartin, Verywell

     It always fascinates me how in 2020, we can be so digitally connected and yet feel so alone.  Loneliness can be a part of midlife for many reasons, divorce, death of a spouse, or an empty nest.  A Psychology Today article contends that loneliness does not depend on your social circle; more than 60% of married people admitted to feeling lonely. In the United States,40% of midlife folks are affected by loneliness, and this could lead to some devastating health outcomes.

     But before we get started, let’s define the difference between loneliness and isolation since many of us use these terms interchangeably.  Isolation ensues when we have very little or no contact with other people, this can happen due to a mental health issue or as a health precaution to fight the spread of COVID-19 which is what many of us are experiencing now.   Loneliness, on the other hand, is an emotional state it can be caused by isolation but can also be due to other things such as the loss of a good friend or moving to a new city.

Health risks associated with loneliness can include higher stress levels, antisocial behavior, increased alcohol or drug consumption, and depression. Studies show that lonely adults are less likely to exercise and consume diets high in fat and calories.


If you feel lonely, you are not alone. In 2010 AARP commissioned a study that classified loneliness by age; the results were astounding.  Using the UCLA Loneliness Scale, they measured the percent of lonely adults by age group:

  • Ages 40-49 – 43%
  • Ages 50-59 – 41%
  • Ages 60-69 – 32%
  • Ages 70+ – 25%

How can you protect yourself from the devastating effects of loneliness?

  • Nurture existing relationships: this step helped me to combat my loneliness, I make a point each day to contact a family member or friend.  And since we are practicing social distancing due to the virus, I reach out to work colleagues a couple of times each week to stay connected. 
  • Find a hobby: this one was a little bit harder because the things I enjoy don’t necessarily require company, but it has been a real joy cycling with my friend and organizing family walks.   You could start a bowling league or book club and invite family and friends.  Or, do something entirely out of your comfort zone like ballroom dancing and make some new friends.
  • Volunteer:  One of the best ways to get your mind off yourself is to give back to your community.  Find a place to donate your time and gift that organization with your gifts and talents.  Time spent volunteering will put you into social situations that will help you to meet new people in a safe environment.

If your loneliness persists or turns into isolation, don’t be afraid to seek help, many organizations such as Better Help offer online therapeutic services.  As with any service, do your due diligence and research before you commit.  Also, check out the Coalition to End Isolation and Loneliness; this is a non-profit organization that works to assist individuals with local and national resources to end loneliness.   

     It is a myth that the older you get, the lonelier you will become, yes, your life will change, kids grow up and move out, you might get divorced, or your spouse might pass away, maybe your friend of 25 years will move to another state.  I have found that one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to be flexible and to live your life with a curious mind.

With Love and Peace,


Need some help getting your groove back, download The Ultimate Midlife GuideBeating The Midlife Slump-10 Strategies To Help You Boost Your Self-Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

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Why Am I So Unproductive?

You probably had a list of items you were going to accomplished while being quarantined at home.  I know I did, my cleaning and organizing alone were going to take me through the 30- day shelter at home order our Governor had put into effect.  But I spent the first week with the rest of America lying on the sofa glued to the newsfeed and its unsettling statistics. If that is where you are right now, it is okay. 

While your family and friends are sewing protective masks, planning summer gardens, and hosting fundraisers for the essential workers that keep us fed, protected, and cared for, which are all excellent activities to be involved in right now.   You and I need to take some time to show ourselves some compassion.  The Coronavirus has created an unprecedented time in all our lives.  We need to allow ourselves time to grieve the comforting regularity of our normal routines and for the many families who have lost loved ones to COVID-19.

If you would like to get some things done while you’re in isolation, let me share with you how I slowly peeled myself off the sofa.

  1. Break up your large goals into smaller ones. Take your “to do” list and select three items you would like to complete.  Do this each day until the list is complete.  Don’t add any new items to the list until you have completed the current one.
  2. Use the Pomodoro method-this method made it possible for me to blog and complete my podcast.  Even without the virus looming, I have a tough time staying focused.  The technique is simple but powerful.  To begin, “Make a small oath to yourself: I will spend 25 minutes on this task, and I will not interrupt myself. You can do it! After all, it’s just 25 minutes.”
  3. Take a break; these breaks allow you to recharge and refocus and reduce the negative self-talk that can sneak up on you when you are just not in the mood to complete a task.  Negative self-talk starts with something along the lines of “I will never get this done.”  It will break your spirit and make it hard for you to tap into the personal power you need to make it through to the end.  

If you write the next great American novel, during the time of COVID-19 congratulations, and if you emerge with your sanity intact, and an organized closet, congratulations to you too.

Wishing you Peace and Love,


You are worth the time:  learn how to lose weight naturally download The Ultimate Midlife Guide:  Beating The Midlife Slump-10 Strategies To Help You Boost Self-Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

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How Can I Help My Family Members Understand My Mental Illness?

Note:  Today’s blog has a new format; I will be answering a question from one of readers.  If you have a question you would like to ask about health and wellness, relationships, or life, please email me at, and your question could be featured on a future podcast.

Today’s question is from Brandiss, she writes, I am 50 years old and was diagnosed with depression about six years ago.  I am married and have two teenaged daughters, I have been trying to explain my diagnosis to my family, but they don’t seem to understand what I am going through. Now that we are all stuck home together, I thought this would be a good time for us to have an honest conversation.  How should I start?

Brandiss, thank you so much for your question; I know that the pandemic, social isolation, and sheltering in place has been a trigger for many of us suffering from a mental health disorder.  I am so grateful to be out of bed today.  As a Mental Health Practitioner, I worked with families to help them to understand their loved one’s diagnosis so that they can be a natural support for them once our services ended.  Sometimes, it worked.  Sometimes it didn’t.  

I know we have made a lot of progress, but there is still a stigma attached to a mental health diagnosis.  I applaud you and anyone who has the courage not only to face their diagnosis but also to share it with their families so that they can begin to understand and provide valuable help when it is needed.   I have four tips that I think will work well for you and anyone dealing with a chronic illness.  Your mental illness is probably not going to go away but can be managed successfully.  These four steps should get the conversation started.

  1. Education:  Don’t skip this step; it would help if family members had a bird’s eye view of exactly what symptoms and causes of your mental health diagnosis.  They don’t need a dissertation; you can simply give them a pamphlet, article, or book.  You can provide the information and then give them time to digest it and ask you questions.  Check out this TEDx talk by Dr. Lloyd  Sederer entitled When Mental Illness Enters a Family.  You and your family can watch Dr. Sederer’s talk together.
  2. Be Clear on What You Need:  This is not the time to have family members guessing on how to help you, guesswork will just increase the stress for both you and your loved one.  So, tell them, when I feel this way__________, I need you too___________.   Remember that you and your family members are dealing with something that even the medical community doesn’t fully understand.    For example, when I am having an anxiety attack, I need you to remind me of one of my coping strategies, whether that’s journaling, walking, listening to a meditation recording, or yelling into a pillow.  Knowing what to do will empower your family members.
  3. Explain your triggers:  If you have worked with a mental health practitioner, then you’ve heard of triggers.  Discuss yours with your family so that they can be aware that a person, place, thing, or event can trigger an episode for you.   About three years ago, I was working with a client who was diagnosed with OCD.  We sat down with her kids and explained to them that leaving the shoes and bookbags at the front door when they came home from school was a trigger for mom.  Instead, we asked them to take all their belongings to their room.  Because when they dropped them at the door, this triggered mom to want to clean for two or three hours instead of cooking dinner.  If possible, schedule a meeting with you and your family and your therapist.  They can provide real support for you as you try to explain to your family how they can help.
  4. Guard your feelings: sometimes, family members and friends can be very supportive and loving, and sometimes they will just not understand.  You do not have to argue with them or try to convince them that what you are feeling is real.   Remember that Supportive Loved Ones Come in All Shapes and Sizes, if you cannot find natural support from your family and friends, look for it in the form of professional assistance from a therapist, case manager, or coach.  Search for online support groups or start your own.  While you want family members to be there for you, give yourself permission to focus on getting well.

If you are trying to provide support for someone who has been diagnosed with a mental illness check out Nami the National Alliance ON Mental Illness -they have an excellent program called Family to Family that is designed to help family members have a better understanding about mental illness and how they can be supportive. I took this program way back in 2010 and it was a great resource.

Wishing You Peace and Love,


Download The Ultimate Midlife Guide:  Beating The Midlife Slump-10 Strategies To Help You Boost Self-Confidence, Self-Love, and Self-Care

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Overeating Does Not Make You a Lost Cause or a Bad Person- It Makes You Human!

So, you had a bad eating day, who hasn’t, this journey toward health is a marathon, not a sprint, so allow yourself some grace, or you won’t last.  If what you’ve eaten today does not necessarily line up with your healthy eating plan.  Write down why!  What happened that threw you off track:

Did you forget to pack your lunch?  Did you skip breakfast? Did you stay up late watching the news and didn’t get enough sleep? Are you sad? 

When you take a step back and look at the day through your logical eye and not emotions, you can pinpoint the trigger and correct your course.  Overeating does not make you a bad person or a lost cause.  It makes you human!

So, you had a bad eating day, who hasn’t, this journey toward health is a marathon, not a sprint, so allow yourself some grace, or you won’t last.  If what you’ve eaten today does not necessarily line up with your healthy eating plan.  Write down why!  What happened that threw you off track:

Did you forget to pack your lunch?  Did you skip breakfast? Did you stay up late watching the news and didn’t get enough sleep? Are you sad? 

When you take a step back and look at the day through your logical eye and not emotions, you can pinpoint the trigger and correct your course.  Overeating does not make you a bad person or a lost cause.  It makes you human!

So, you had a bad eating day, who hasn’t, this journey toward health is a marathon, not a sprint, so allow yourself some grace, or you won’t last.  If what you’ve eaten today does not necessarily line up with your healthy eating plan.  Write down why!  What happened that threw you off track:

Did you forget to pack your lunch?  Did you skip breakfast? Did you stay up late watching the news and didn’t get enough sleep? Are you sad? 

When you take a step back and look at the day through your logical eye and not emotions, you can pinpoint the trigger and correct your course.  Overeating does not make you a bad person or a lost cause.  It makes you human!

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How to End the Struggle with Nighttime Grazing

Nighttime eating can ruin the physical and emotional progress you’ve made during the day. There are several reasons why we continue to eat after the dinner meal is over.  It could be that you’re bored, hungry, or using food to meet a need other than hunger.   

To end the struggle, try creating a routine.  Make sure that you are getting enough sleep and spread out your meals during the day.  Take out a piece of paper right now and write down your eating and sleeping schedule for the next week.  Spreading meals out through the day will help you to feel less hungry at night. Make sure your meals include a protein, grain, veggie, and a healthy fat.

Remember, if your body is used to eating more calories than it needs, it might take seven to ten days for it to self-regulate when you start eating the calories you need to live and thrive.

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Four Ways to Be Productive Working from Home When the World Is Falling A Part

Note:  The blog has a new format; during this time of crisis, I will be answering your questions.  I hope that in some small way this will be of service to you all.  If you have a question, you would like to ask, please leave it in the comments or email me at Let me know if you would like your name to be used. 

Today’s question is from Laura: She writes, “I am 52 years old and like most of us, I am working from home.  My kids are home from school and my husband is working from home as well.   I used to pride myself on my productivity at work and at home, but in the last week my productivity has plummeted.  My boss was tracking my work and called to say she noticed I wasn’t getting much done.  Help!!!!

Okay, that title might be a little over the top, but that is just how I feel now.  And as you can see, Laura feels that way too, but to be honest, everything in our lives seems to be exaggerated, out of control, and more than a little overwhelming.  But, before we get started, I want to remind you that while you may be working remotely in your corner of the world, you are not alone.  We are a community of supportive, loving, quirky folks who have each other’s back.  And not even a social distancing directive can change that, I am here for you and so is everyone in our little community. So, if you have a question for us, please write in. 

Now, Laura, first let me say I am sorry that you are experiencing so much angst over working from home.  Working from home is not for everyone and being put in a situation like this so quickly without time to prepare can be a lot to handle emotionally.   The question for all of us is, how can we maintain an optimal level of productivity working from home?  As you know, Covid-19 has forced many companies to either shut down entirely or send their workforce with laptops in hand home to work.  Remote work can be great, but if you are not used to managing yourself without the oversight of a supervisor or your work colleagues, it can be a bit daunting.  These tips will work for you if you are a regular 9-5 worker or if you work for yourself but have used your local coffee shop as your makeshift office.

They will help you to stay on task, boost your productivity, and calm the overwhelm you might be feeling right now because these tips are things that you can control.  And that is what we all need right now, a little bit of control.

  1.  You must maintain a regular work schedule.  The first days after being laid-off, my daily schedule was all over the place. Which was a surprise to me because I am a Coach who has worked with midlife women on identifying and removing time eaters from their daily schedules.  Why? Because if you do not control your time, every area of your life is affected.  Secondly, I was just lamenting the week before how much more work I could get done on my business, if I didn’t have a big chunk of my day eaten away by my work schedule.  Fast forward a week later, and I am trying to write my blog, answer coaching calls, record a podcast, all while trying to watch the latest news coverage, and do my laundry.  That week was a bust.  This week, I instituted my regular work schedule using the hours I would have been working outside of my home.  So, my work hours are from 9 am-3 pm, this also required me to reinstitute my regular bedtime so that I could rise and do my morning routine before sitting down at my desk at 9 am.
  2. Create a designated work area and set clear boundaries.  Bryan Robinson, a contributor for Forbes magazine, suggests, “Have a space that you designate as your workstation instead of checking emails, voicemails, or texting in front of the TV or spreading work out on the kitchen table.”   Having a designated work area will not only keep you focused, but it will send a signal to you and the rest of the family that you are in work mode and should not be disturbed unless it is a real emergency.   If you do not set this clear boundary, you might feel like you are working all the time, or your family will interrupt all day, and you won’t get anything done.  Both will zap your energy and your focus.  You also want to make it clear to family and friends that while you may be at home, you are still working, and they should wait to call you until after your workday ends.  It might be a good idea to schedule a family meeting to go over the daily schedule, which should include your designated work time and scheduled time to hang out with significant others and kids.

3. Take frequent breaks.  Just because you are working from home doesn’t mean that you can’t take a break, schedule in lunchtime and 15-minute breaks the same as you would if you were in your office.  Use your break to refresh your brain and move your body, go for a walk, stretch, sit outside and soak in some vitamin D.  My Fitbit reminds me every hour to walk for ten minutes, which helps me to refocus and add some steps to my daily step total. 

4. Stay connected to your colleagues and work friends.  Working from home can be lonely.  Thankfully, we live in the digital age, and platforms like Slack, Zoom, and Mighty Networks make it possible for you to not only share work products but also check in to see how your work buddy is faring during your time of separation.

5. My bonus tip is to plan your day the night before.  Start by clearing your work area, lay out your workout and work clothes for the following day, yes you must get dressed, you wouldn’t go to the office in your pajamas. According to a 2012 study from the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, clothing may also have an impact on personal performance. If people associate certain qualities with certain items of clothing, it can influence how they act in those clothes.   Also, plan your menu for the day and what exercise you want to tackle if you work out in the morning.  Doing this the night before will open your mind space and decrease any overwhelm you might be feeling when you wake up.  I have found that doing these steps before I go to bed makes my morning run smoothly.

This is a trying time for all of us, however, you might find that when this is over and yes, it will end, that you handled this situation so well that you get a promotion, land the job of your dreams or, double your business if you are working for yourself, Control what you can control.

I hope that these tips were helpful. I’m sure you have heard them before sometimes we have to hear things more than once before we act.  Let’s take action. 

Remember, you are stronger than you give yourself credit and more blessed than you know.

Guys, if you have any further tips for Laura, please leave them in the comments. How are handling working from home?

It’s that time again

Join the April Cohort of the 21 Day Sugar Detox Group Coaching Program; the festivities will kick off on April 12th.  This virtual program will help you to boost your immune system, reenergize your metabolism, and lose that stubborn belly fat.    If you join by April 4th, you will get the entire program for only $20, and this includes a private 45-minute coaching session with me.   You must sign up by April 4th at midnight! Click here fto sign up- You won’t regret it. $5 of your investment in yourself will be donated to the Atlanta Mission to help them increase their housing units for homeless mothers and their children.  See you on the inside!

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Self-Care In the Time of Covid-19

Hello, my friends,
I am sending so much love your way, these are challenging times, and some of you may already be experiencing significant financial hardship due to your company shutting completely down or having your work hours drastically cut. I feel your pain, Monday was my last day of work.
I am very grateful that my last child has finally returned home. I am here with my aunt, able to ensure that she is doing well and has everything she needs; still praying that my husband will get to join us soon.
Wakeup calls come in many forms, being let go from a job, the breakup of a relationship, or a pandemic that threatens the whole world. While it is inevitable that you will feel some fear and trepidations at the thought of an unknown future, this is your chance to take stock of your life and finally make the changes you have been putting off until someday. Someday is now!

I am asking that you replace your panic and fear with faith and action.  This is not the time to put your self-care on the bottom of your “to do”. Besides the precautions suggested by the CDC – you can read them here.    You need to be focusing on your physical, emotional, and physical health is what is going to get you through this crisis.  I have put together eight tips that I know will help you take care of yourself and remain calmer during this crisis.

These tips have helped my family,  friends, clients and me to stay in the present and cut our worrying in half.
1. Take quiets moments throughout the day for prayer/meditation: The early morning or late evening hours tend to be the best time to make this happen. But whether you are home “self-isolating” or still working, take a moment throughout the day to pray, meditate, reflect, and journal your thoughts. This will help you to manage your stress.
2. Eat whole foods: I have also been tempted to munch away on a bag of M&M’s my favorite candy in the world. But this is not the time to put your wellness journey on hold. Your immune system needs you to consume whole foods to keep it running at its optimal health. Whole foods are minimally processed and have little to no refined sugars. These foods include vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, seeds, and nuts.
3. Exercise 30 minutes per day: Don’t forsake your daily exercise. I know the gyms are closed, but a home workout will yield some fantastic results. Check out YouTube for complete workouts lasting from 10 to 60 minutes. Or you can download my friend Laurie’s complete at-home workout guide here.
4. Stay connected: write, call, or facetime family and friends: While you may not be able to be in the same room, thanks to technology, we can still connect. Surprise someone you haven’t had time to speak within a while with a long-overdue phone call.
5. Focus on the positive- gratitude: “Making gratitude a daily practice is like taking a vitamin,” says David DeSteno, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northeastern University in Boston and author of the book Emotional Success.

6. Don’t Overload on Information: Decide on what time of day you will consume information about the virus and then stick with your plan. Cut down your watch time into 10, 15, or 30-minute chunks no more than that, or you will get sucked in and find yourself watching news coverage all day.
7. Say a prayer for others: One way to take your mind off yourself is to pray or send kind thoughts to others in need. This virus has affected all of us, and we need to come together to provide love and support.
8. Get some rest:   While you may want to stay up all night, doing a virus vigil can wreak havoc with your health. Like healthy eating, your immune system needs you to be well-rested to help it work properly. Regular sleep will also help you to be at your emotional best. Stick to a regular sleep schedule and throw in a power nap if you need it. Your body will thank you for it,
You will get through this; don’t give in to fear and worry; instead, take the necessary precautions and stand firm in your faith. This is your time to shine! Be the leader you are called to be, even at this moment in time, you still have the power to create the life you want to live.
I will be coming to you each day with new tips and resources to steady your mind, help you keep your health promises, and to just keep you busy, so don’t forget to follow the blog so you don’t miss any upcoming posts.

Wishing you peace and love,


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Is Your Weight Holding Your Life Hostage

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How many of you have said, the moment I lose this weight, I will plan my dream vacation.  I am going to get some new sexy underwear.  I am going to get a new hair cut or get rid of this soul-sucking relationship.  “When I lose weight, I will get my teeth whitened.”  I was working with a woman who told me she was waiting to get her teeth whitened until she lost the weight.

Today I want to talk to you about not waiting until you reach that magical number on the scale and begin to live your life. I want to share with you three ways that you can start living your life right now!

Stay Present:  You have to start loving where you are right now, stop warring with your body and learn to love it just the way it is rolls and all.  Do not dwell on your past or on the future.  You cannot change the past, and your future depends on what steps you take today.  When the negative self-talk begins, counter it with this exercise. 

  • Close your eyes-be still-take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your nose (three times)
  • Continue breathing, and on each exhale repeat to yourself, I am enough just the way I am. (Three times)
  • Repeat until you have quieted your spirit or calmed your nerves

Do this regularly, this mindfulness tool will help you to reign in those negative thoughts and begin the work of repairing your mindset.  Until we treat ourselves with love and respect regardless of our dress size, no one else will. 

Go shopping now:  Get out of that worn sweat suit, black yoga pants, and hot polyester outfits.  Dress the body you have, I thought buying clothes that fit me was a sign of weakness.  I was telling myself that I would never lose the weight and I felt uneasy about dressing my new curves.  Then I caught my reflection in my full-length mirror as I was leaving home one day.  Who is that? I almost asked myself, dressed in an oversized gray t-shirt and a pair of black stretch pants.  This was my daily uniform.  I felt sad and depressed, and it showed in the way I carried myself and my interaction with everyone I encountered, I went out that day and purchased some new clothes. 

Dressing my new curves gave me more confidence.  I felt polished, and it ended the overwhelm I felt each morning when I went into my closet, trying to find something to wear.

[A capsule wardrobe is] a practice of editing your wardrobe down to your favorite clothes (clothes that fit your lifestyle + body right now), remixing them regularly, and shopping less often and more intentionally.

My advice is to create a capsule wardrobe.  Shop for a few essential pieces that you can mix and match.  I purchased four pairs of knit slacks in black, burgundy, gray, and navy.  Four knit skirts in the same colors with a nice wide elastic band.   I stayed away from buttons and zippers.  Opting for wide bands are best because they prevent the top of your clothing from rolling down under your belly.  Then I purchased 8 pretty tops, a couple of cardigans, two blazers, and a denim jacket.  With these pieces, I could dress up or play it casually.  Now, I had a wardrobe to take through the seasons and help me to feel comfortable and pretty.  I wore these pieces until I lost the weight.  It was a wonderful experience, and my weight loss journey much easier.

     Finally, start doing the things you love; do not be afraid to go out to dinner just plan.  Buy those tickets to see your favorite band, each week you should be doing something fun.  Make fun Friday a reality, stop living vicariously through the IG photos of family and friends, and start posting your own.  The truth is we don’t know what tomorrow holds, so live your life each day as though it was your last.  Smile, and be happy!

You are beautiful at your present weight.  Losing weight may give you more confidence in the short-run, but if you do not heal your mindset and say present in your life, the weight is going to come back, and you will be back on that diet merry-go-round of self-defeating, negative self-talk which leads to self-loathing and comfort eating.  You deserve more than that.

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You Want to Lose Weight? Cook More Meals at Home

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You’ve been trying to lose weight; you lose a few pounds only to gain them right back and sometimes more.  It could be that the food you’re eating when you dine out is the culprit.  Eating more meals at home is strategy number 2 of our guide Beating the Midlife slump 10 strategies to boost your self-confidence, self-care, and self-love, you can download your free guide here.

Eating more meals at home is especially helpful when you are at the beginning of your wellness journey.  As it will allow you to control the portion sizes of our meals.

When you cook more meals at home, not only do you tend to eat healthier, but you can also save time, money, and calories. If you prepare a meal and make a double or triple batch, you’ll have leftovers for lunches or another dinner.  By cooking once and eating two or three times, you are becoming incredibly efficient with your time, money, and calories.

I have to admit that when Dunkin Donuts introduced their Beyond Sausage sandwich, right after Burger King announced the Beyond Sausage Whooper, I was overjoyed. I cannot tell you how many sandwiches I ate, but let’s say it was a daily occurrence for at least a month and a half. Finally, one day when trying to put on my favorite jeans, I discovered not to my surprise that they did not fit. Eating all that bread everyday had finally caught up to me. Even though I was still exercising everyday. It’s true what they say, you cannot exercise a bad diet.

What we have to realize ladies, is that once you hit midlife, the way your body burned calories is not the way it burned calories at 25 or 35. There will be some foods that we can’t eat or we have to eat in moderation.

It’s much easier to eat healthy when you’re the one selecting the ingredients and preparing the meals. I know it takes more time to plan and prepare yourself, but if you are looking to lose or maintain your weight, feel better, and save money, it’s worth the effort. On the nights that you have other activities going on with the kids or community functions, the crockpot is a HUGE help!

Need dinner ideas? There are so many great websites for recipe ideas, including:

  • Forks Over Knives
  • (this is a paid service that sends you 5 dinner recipes each week based on the dietary style you choose)
  • Tasty App

If life is just way too hectic, you can use services like Hello Fresh, I have used them often, and the meals are excellent. They provide you with an excellent menu for the week and send you all the ingredients you need to create a healthy, delicious meal in the comfort of your own home. Most meals are done in less than 45 minutes, and you might even have some leftovers for lunch the next day. This option is super convenient!

I get asked a lot by single women, do I have to cook at home or could I just go out and eat dinner? I hate cooking for one person. And my answer is the same there is no one more important for you to cook for at this time of your life than you. Single ladies, make eating your meals at home a joyful experience. Purchase new cookware or dinnerware. Set the table, put on your favorite music, and enjoy your meal.

As with any change, you don’t have to jump in with both feet, baby steps are okay, if you are making positive movement towards your wellness goals. Just ask yourself, what one action step can you take this week to prepare more meals at home?

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Five Tips on Finding a Gym You’ll Love and Use This Year!

I know it’s the middle of January, but, Happy New Year, my sister, I know that 2020 is going to be a fantastic year for us, as we grow spiritually, heal emotionally, and get physically fit.  Like millions of midlife women across the land, you have probably decided that it is time for you to revisit the idea of regular exercise.  I don’t have to tell you the benefits of regular exercise especially for women over 40, but my momma/coaching instincts are kicking in, and I want to make sure that you understand that putting in the physical work now could save you from not just weight gain but brittle bones, compromised immune systems, loss of energy, Type 2 Diabetes and heart disease.

But, how do you find a gym that you will love enough to use three times per week after the excitement of the New Year has subsided.  You know, there are so many weight loss programs, new and exciting exercise equipment like the Peloton bike, but the hard truth is that as a country we are more out of shape today than any time in our history.

My own quest for the perfect gym in 2019 had me feeling like Goldilocks.  The first gym was close to home but didn’t have the classes I loved or a pool.  The second gym had classes and a pool, but the yoga classes were more like physical fitness classes instead of the quiet meditative qualities I love in yoga, plus I wanted a gym that offered more fun networking events.  That led me to my third gym, it had the classes I love, a pool, and fun networking events.  But again, the yoga classes felt like I was in a middle school gym class.  So, you guessed it, I joined a yoga studio.   By the end of 2019, I had four fitness memberships.  Thankfully, they have all ended.  But I want to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes.

Here five tips that will help you find a gym that you will love or at least one that you will visit as much in July as you will in January:

  1. First, pick a gym that is close to home.  That way, whether you rock your workout at 5 a.m. or 5 p.m.  You will not have to drive more than 15-20 minutes out of your way to workout.  So, check out the gyms in your local area. Make sure that it has ample parking, and ample lighting, if you are going before the sun, comes out.  You don’t want to give yourself any reasons for not actually parking your car and walking into the building.
  2. Check your budget:  It’s always exciting to start something new, even a new workout routine, the pull of getting our bodies ready for the beach are undeniable.  But, make sure that the monthly fees fit in your household budget.  Read the contract and check for additional cancellation fees.  Nothing puts a damper in your motivation to workout than worrying about how you are going to pay the monthly fees.  Also, if your gyms fees are being automatically withdrawn, check your bank statement to make sure that you are only being charged the amount on your contract.
  3. Pick a gym that has activities you love:   If you just want to work out on the treadmill, the bike, or elliptical and lift weights, a gym like Planet Fitness could be all that you need.   I enjoyed my membership at Planet Fitness, they have enough machines and weight equipment that even during peak times you could probably get in an out within an hour.  But I also needed my weekly yoga fix, so I then had to join a yoga studio.  My advice is to look for a gym that has everything you need for a complete fitness routine.   If you enjoy aerobics or yoga classes, then look for a gym that has a regular line up of those classes.  Visit a couple of classes to get a feel for the instructor, and then choose the class you love, make a commitment to yourself to attend that class every week.  Put it on your schedule, lock it in, make it a non-negotiable use of your time.
  4. Partner with an accountability partner: most gyms have personal trainers who will help you to get back into the groove after a long fitness hiatus, but they will also act as your accountability partner, helping you get the most out of your visit each week.  Some personal trainers will even give you a call if you miss a week.  You can also grab a friend and pinkie swear to help keep each other motivated and engaged throughout the year. 
  5. Check out the culture: Every gym, like every workplace, has its own culture.  Find one that is right for you.  To do so, ask yourself the following questions, do you want a gym where you can work out and attend social activities?  Do you want a gym that is oriented more towards accommodating the needs of families? Do you want that is oriented more towards adults and children persona non grata?  

The bottom line is that you need to find a gym that is close to home, affordable, has the equipment and classes you need for a complete fitness routine.  You will need an accountability partner to help keep you going to the gym when your motivation starts to disappear, and you want to make sure that the culture of the gym is one that fits your personality and your needs at this time in your life.

There are 168 hours in a week.  We owe it to ourselves to take 150 minutes a week to get our minds and bodies in tip-top shape.  Let’s face it, you may not always enjoy working out, but exercising regularly will help you enjoy your life and increase your gratitude level.   I promise!

Creating Peace on Demand! Using Meditation to Enhance Your Self-Care

Javier Snchez Mingorance / Getty Images

Click here to Listen to Episode 41 of the Welcome To Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast

I have been rallying the self-care flag since April.  Like no other time in our lives, we need to focus on our well-being, or we will be swallowed by doubt and overwhelm.  So, for August, I will continue to share a new tip that will enhance your self-care and bring you some peace.  Midlife is not always the most secure time of our lives, but if we are intentional about taking care of our needs, it can be more comfortable.

So, what if you could create peace in your day on demand.  I know it sounds a little woo woo, but with a little bit of planning, you can make it happen using meditation. “Meditation provides you with that quality “me time” that’s so key to refiling your cup at the end of the day. It’s not only me time in terms of being alone and being away from others but being away from your day to day thoughts.”

     According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, “meditation is a mind and body practice that has a long history of use for increasing calmness and physical relaxation, improving psychological balance, coping with illness, and enhancing overall health and well-being.” You can create your own meditation by sitting in a quiet place, using a memory that helps you feel more confident, happy, or brings you peace.  Focus on memory and breath.    You can also use a meditation app like Headspace or Calm.

Meditation is something you can do whenever you feel stressed or overwhelmed.   As with anything, meditation takes practice, so do not be upset if you cannot settle down on your first couple of tries.  Acknowledge the thoughts you are having and keep practicing. Do not worry about being perfect; be intentional on spending this time with yourself.

With Peace and Love,


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Self-Care and Your Career: 3 Ways to Make Sure That You Are Still Doing Something You Love


Listen to Episode 40 of the Welcome to Your Life! Midlife Made Easier Podcast :Self-care and your career: Make sure that you are still doing something you love

There was a time when you joined a company, you were expected to stay in their employ until you retired.  But, that is no longer the case, especially as the pandemic continues to force companies to close or drastically reduced their workforce.   Even in these unprecedented times, you must see your choice of career as a way of engaging in your self-care.   Doing work that you love and find purposeful can be instrumental in helping you to reduce your stress.   “Living in a world of ‘always on’ culture can wreak havoc on you physically, emotionally, and spiritually,” Amy Blaschka says in Forbes. “Constantly grinding leads to burnout, anxiety, and stress-related illnesses.” 

So, what do you do when you want to change careers in midlife? It can be very disheartening seeking a new career path or even a new job within the same field when you a midlife woman.  It can seem as though your experience and education are overlooked as employers seek to hire younger, less experienced, and less costly staff.   But, there are things that you can do to ensure that you get the position you want.

Make sure that you running to something, rather than away from something. If you are miserable in your current position, you may gravitate towards anything that looks better. However, there are more beneficial ways to decide.

  • Any exit looks good when the building is on fire. You will be more likely to be happy with your career change if you take the time to choose the best field for you. The more you dislike your current job, the more critical it is to take a deep breath and examine all your options.

Avoid a career decision based on financial considerations. Of course, salary is a part of the decision-making process, but using it as the sole criteria can yield disappointing results. Money, even a large amount, probably will not make up for spending 8+ hours a day in misery at your job.

  • Midlife is not the time to take on more stress as stress tends to have more health issues, which are expensive, too.

Do not be averse to obtaining the necessary training and education first. Midlife is not the time to stop learning, do not try to change careers without updating your skills, and having the required credentials in place. You might look at volunteering or becoming a temporary employee to get the necessary experience. This will also help you to ascertain if this is the move you want to take.

When you begin the search, be sure to show yourself some self-compassion.  Network with colleagues in your new field and ask for an introduction or referral.  Do not practice negative self-talk; this will only delay your progress, speak kindly to yourself, and surround yourself with a nourishing support system.

Ladies, I hope you enjoyed today’s show. Remember that just because you are in midlife does not mean you have to continue doing something you no longer love.  Be encouraged, and let your passion be your guide.  Do not forget to share this podcast with someone you love and

Whenever you are ready:

Join the private Welcome to Your Life Midlife Made Easier Facebook group, a curated community exclusively for fun-loving midlife women. Learn from and connect with other midlife women; this is your village, a safe place to vent your concerns and celebrate your wins.  Click here to join (note: you must answer the questions to be considered).

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